LIFE WITHOUT A COMPUTER: OR HOW NOT TO GO INSANE

Life Without a Computer: Or How Not to Go Insane

By Melanie Neer

This article of mine has appeared on Yahoo.voices and in one of my notes over at Facebook.

The link to my Yahoo.Voices article is here

Life Without a Computer Article

Before I begin my article here, please bow your heads and join me in a few moments of silence in memory for all computers that have met an untimely death and have left our lives. (Bows head and remains silent).

Thank you all for joining me in silence. I'm sure there are a lot of you out there, where somewhere along in your life, you too have had the demise of your beloved computer. First, I would like to give a bit of a background about myself and my introduction to computers in the first place.

Nowadays children are learning computers as part of the school curriculum at a very young age and are taught how to use them. This wasn't the case in my childhood as I'm a "Woodstock Generation" baby boomer. Personal computers didn't exist, cellphones didn't exist, not even calculators. It wasn't until around 2002 that I finally introduced myself to a computer. Having always been something of a geek I knew eventually I wanted to learn how to use a computer but plain didn't know how to go about it, and just didn't have the funds to take expensive classes, so I at first did the next best thing. I would go to the library and would take out books about computers: PCs For Dummies, Computer For Dummies, Internet For Dummies; well, you get the idea. If there was a "Dummies" book about computers I was reading it. And by the way, I highly recommend the Dummies series of books in general for any topic as they are written in a no frills tech talk and often sprinkled with a lot of humor.

Somewhere long the line I realized that I had to go beyond just reading about computers, that I had to actually make the attempt and put myself in front of one. Two things inspired me to go ahead and make the plunge to use a computer. The first was the library itself: I would often pass by the children's section of the library and see children as young as four pounding away like maniacs in front of the public usage computers. My thought was, gee, if they can do it, so can I. The second reason was believe it or not, the Lord Of The Rings movies. I was a fanatic about the movies and yearned to join the official Lord of The Rings fan club, and one could only do that by joining on-line. So one day at the library I got bold and I went up to the desk to sign up to use a computer.

When my time came and I was called I went to the next available computer and stood in front of it, staring at it like, well, like a dummy. It's one thing to read about computers but another thing to actually use one. Somehow though I managed to putter around with the computer to get the feel of it and found I liked it. For the next few days, I would go to the library and sign up to use a computer, getting a little more daring and bold, however, sometimes when I would get stuck on something and just plain didn't know what to do, I would ask the poor victim person next to me, "How do you do this?" "How do you do that?" I'm pretty sure there were times the person wanted to strangle me with my constant questions. Oh, don't worry folks, with the passage of time tables turned and I became the victim person since someone would ask me questions too about how to do something. And yes, perhaps I myself could have gotten annoyed, but I didn't since I reflected back on those times when I was the nuisance questioner. Also truth be told, I felt happy with myself that I could do a pay it forward type thing and could help a person out.

Well as time passed, I not only liked computers, I loved them and was quickly becoming addicted to them. I found that the term world wide web was so on the spot, for the internet truly does allow a person to connect in a way like nothing else, and if one starts joining forums, discussion groups or networking sites, one can meet people of all walks of life from all over the world. Great bonds and friendships can occur with on-line people; sometimes these friendships can be better and closer than those people we have in our "real" life.

Alas, a frustrating dilemma occurred for me. I now yearned for my own computer; it wasn't enough to go to the library and use their computers for only an hour, or the occasional use of a computer at an internet café when I needed more time. But how? I was on disability benefits (and still am) and there was no way I could afford one. So from 2002 until 2007 I remained stuck using public computers, then something happened in 2006. My mother who had been terminally ill with cancer passed away on August 27, 2006. She had no checking, savings or life insurance, however there were funds I was able to claim, not a vast fortune by any means, yet with that money I was able to pay her funeral costs and other bills and what I had left over I managed to get my own computer. Hallelujah!

So from 2007 when I finally got my own computer system and for the next five years I was a real happy camper. Instead of waiting hours to use a computer for only an hour at the library, I could putter around my computer any time I wanted to for hours on end. Did I want to use my computer after I ate breakfast? I could. Did I want to use my computer until the wee small hours of the morning? I could. Did I want to use my computer when I got up for a bathroom break when I had been sleeping? I could. Come on folks, admit it, don't you do the same thing? Perhaps you even zoom over to your computer to check emails or to quickly find out what's new over at Facebook as soon as you wake up and before you have breakfast? And confess folks, how many of you schlep around in front of your computer in your PJs or any raggedy tag clothes and barefoot? Thank goodness people can't see us when we're in front of the computer!

Then a catastrophe occurred. On June 22nd my computer died. I had decided to shut down my computer for awhile with the intent to reboot later; it was something I had done on and off all along ever since I got my computer. When I decided to reboot, I turned the computer back on expecting it to start up again as always, but nothing happened. I was still looking at a black, lifeless monitor. I thought, oh, maybe it's just an odd glitch, so I shut it off again and waited awhile, then turned it back on. Still nothing, nada, zilch. To say I freaked out would be putting it mildly. My computer had truly became my "world". Being disabled, the computer was my gateway to the world, to feel connected, and while not housebound I do stay home a lot, and had counted on my computer in so many ways, including writing my articles, but now I felt lost, unconnected. I might as well have been on a deserted island.

As I mentioned, the only way I was able to afford my computer at all was with the passing of my mother. I just didn't have the financial means to get the computer repaired if it was at all repairable, and certainly didn't have the means to get a new one. My life without a computer was to begin.

For the next three months I was without my computer. You might be thinking, gee, three months isn't all that bad, but for me it might have well have been three years. Yes, I did on occasion go to the nearby internet café near me, but it was not a pleasant experience for me. Number one, I had totally forgotten how to use PC type computers, mine was a iMac and while I had learned on a PC, it had been five years ago that I had used one. Two, I was tangling with using Windows instead of my familiar Safari and Firefox browsers. Don't ask how many times I had to stifle using "expressive" language. One of the posted rules of the internet café was "No Cussing" and I've been known to spew out language that would make a truck driver blush. Three, NYC at the time was having it series of heat waves, and guess what? Ninety percent of the time the internet café didn't have the air-conditioning on. This didn't go too well for me, since most of the summer I was to experience heat exhaustion related illnesses, and I don't "do" hot weather well to begin with. And four, I just plain wasn't used to being "formally" dressed and wearing shoes while in front of a computer. So bottom line, I didn't go to the internet café all that often.

So how did I fill those hours upon hours without a computer? Anyway I could to keep my sanity.

Now, first of all, please understand, I'm a very clean, neat, organized person. If you were to come into my home you would see everything clean, nicely arranged and organized, yet I'm not exactly a Felix Unger of the Odd Couple Show OCD type either. Without my computer however, I was finding "chores" to do to keep me busy. What chores you may ask? Oh, you know the kind, the kind that are as exciting to do as watching water boil, or paint dry. Oh, and there's something I must add. I have a cat named Kissy who has a tendency to hide whenever I clean to begin with. Smart cat! Now that I was doing all this rather maniacal cleaning I could swear she was rolling her eyes up and thinking, "Oh, yeah, my mom's gone nuts." Only a pet person will understand this.

Here's my top ten list of things I did to keep my sanity while without a computer:

10). Organizing Papers: I think a lot of us are guilty of having piles and piles of papers around, and I'm no exception, so I decided to go through my massive piles of papers I had to see what I could finally throw out and for the papers I decided to keep I re-organized them into labeled folders. I didn't do this just once or twice, but several times, you know, just to make sure they were totally organized. I could hardly contain myself with the joy and excitement I had while doing this. Sure, right. Picking lint out of my belly button would have been more thrilling.

9). Dusting: I have always found the chore of dusting to be one of the most futile of all household chores going. One gets everything nicely dusted, but before you know it, one has to do it all over again, therefore, I have to admit I don't do it that often. Mind you however, just to make it clear, I would dust before I could write my name in the dust. Now with all this extra time on my hands I was doing more dusting and on a much more regular basis. For the first time in my life, I could have proudly passed any white glove test.

8). Laundry: I was also doing a lot more laundry than needed to be done. I was washing everything and everything I could think of, even washing my numerous stuffed animal toys or clothes in my closet that while not dirty by any means, my rationale was that they needed "freshening" up.

7). Cleaning and Reorganizing Kitchen Cabinets: This wasn't exactly a chore that needed to be done either as all my kitchen cabinets have always been organized, but yes, I was going through all of them, little by little at at time, taking everything out to reorganize.

6). Reorganizing Storage Containers: I live in a very small apartment which of course means I lack storage space. Over the years I've gotten those plastic-type storage containers, from the rather small to store my jewelry making supplies, to the very large tub-sized containers where I keep my numerous archival files of my 35mm slides and negatives. Well of course! I just had to reorganize them too, don't you know?

5). Closets: Ah yes! I decided to completely reorganize my closets, not that they really needed to be done either.

4). Computer Desk: I have an enormous computer desk, complete with a little filing cabinet and a hutch with nooks and crannies to store stuff, and again, like everything else, it wasn't exactly disorganized, but I decided to go through the filing cabinet and nooks and crannies to reorganize everything. Actually this was a beneficial chore as I came across a lot of things that I was able to throw out. Have you ever come across something that you were obviously saving for some reason, but then years later when you came across again you scratched your head and wondered why the heck you were saving it?

3). Bureau Drawer: Yes I decided to clean out and reorganize my bureau drawer too.

2). Windows: Egad! I must have been really desparate as I actually was washing my windows! But hey, at least my windows were now wonderfully clean; all the more for nosy neighbors in the apartment building across the street to spy on and see me better. And it works both ways for now I can spy on and see THEM better as well.

AND..DRUMROLL PLEASE. THE NUMBER ONE MEANS TO KEEP MY SANITY WITHOUT A COMPUTER IS: So folks, this is how I spent those three months without a computer to keep my sanity, or upon reflection maybe lost it?

As you can surmise, by the mere fact that I'm writing this, I'm back on-line again as I now have a new computer. I'm still hoping to repair my old one, if anything to retrieve my data, especially my document and photo files, but at least I'm up and running again. And how did I get my new computer? Well that is nothing more than a miracle, and maybe the topic of another article.

The Author In Me

Writing is by no means a new adventure to me, as I've been writing for a long time. I don't seem to be plagued by writer's block by any means, in fact I have just a bit too many ideas, and this is especially true with short stories and novel ideas. My hindrence seems to be time. Well, I do hope to remedy that somehow, even if it's only to type in one or two pages of any of my stories.

But now I've ventured out a bit and have delved into the world of article writing, and like many who are also writers, have discovered such sites as Associated Content. Now I did join some time ago, submitted my first article and it was rejected. This didn't deter me too much as, with anyone who is in the art or creative fields, one has to get used to rejections, not that its a great feeling, but it does come in the territory of being an "artist" of any kind.

Well then only a few weeks ago, I decided to give Associated Content another go at it, and just rattled of two articles, of very different genres. One was an overview of the whole Harry Potter phenomenon, while the other about my SSI problem I had. Talk about two different subjects. To my amazement, the Harry Potter one got accepted almost right away, and a few days later the other article was accepted and published. Now I was pumped...and did another, plus submitted one of my short stories. Well they are published as well now, and I now invite you to go over and read my articles.

Here is my general Content Producer page:


Content Producer Page



Here is the first article published by them:

First Article

You can also access and read any of my articles in general just by clicking to my Content Producer Page, which will allow you to read all my articles there.


So I invite you to read my articles...and while there, if you're so inspired please leave a comment of what you though of my articles.


Happy reading!

Surviving SSI Disability Fiascos

Since 1996, I had been receiving SSI Disability benefits due to my panic disorder with agoraphobia which I had developed shortly after graduating college. As to why I developed this disability I have no idea, as it literally came out of the blue. When I started receiving my monthly benefits, it wasn't a lot, just a little over $300.00 a month. The reason for my benefits being so low, was that, one, since I had never worked I didn't have the work "points" necessary for higher benefits, and two, my then still alive mother was considered a financial resource I could rely on for my basic needs, such as shelter and food.

Then, on August 27, 2006, my mother passed away, and by that time my benefits through the years had been raised up to a mere $425.00 a month. I managed to go to my local Social Security office and since my mother had died, and I was now living alone, my benefits were increased to $710.00, just enough to survive on in the paying of my rent, and utilities. It was fortunate also that now, for the first time, I was also eligible for food stamps, otherwise, with my monthly benefits, I just plain wouldn't have had enough to live on.

When my mother died, she did have a very small policy that was due to me, and amounted to slightly over $5,000.00, and I received the policy money during the early part of the month of October of 2006. As you can imagine, the bulk of that policy money paid for my mother's funeral costs, some other bills, and with what was remaining, I saw it as a golden opportunity to finally get my own computer system which up until then, I didn't have. While I did have my agoraphobic condition, I was no longer completely housebound, but neither could I remain away from my home for long periods or time, or travel distances, but I was at least able to go to my local library and use the computers there. The main problem, however, was being very limited to time, as one was only allowed one hour usage of a computer. When I first taught myself computers at the library about four years ago, I immediately saw how a computer could set me on the road of possibly developing an on-line business, working at home and perhaps become self-sufficient enough to eventually get off of SSI benefits.

However, not long after receiving my mother's policy money in October of 2006, I received a letter from Social Security stating, that due to the money I had "inherited" that it was over the $2,000.00 in financial "assets" that Social Security allows when receiving SSI benefits. The letter went on to inform me that my benefits were therefore to be terminated due to this fact. Right away I filled out and filed with Social Security a Request for Reconsideration form. I also filled out the 15-page application PASS Program, as I wanted to prove that the "extra" funds left over after paying my mother's funeral costs and other related bills were to be used to establish a possible work at home business. In filling out this lengthy 15-page PASS Program application, I did an itemized estimated cost of how the money would be spent and listed the necessary computer items I planned to purchase.

I then had erroneously assumed that both my Request for Reconsideration and the PASS Program application had been approved, since in early November I received a notification from Social Security indicating that my benefits were to continue. Then only a week later received another notification that not only was I to continue my benefits, but I was to get the slight raise in benefits that would begin as of January of 2007. Then the bombshell quite literally hit me. I received a letter, dated April 11, 2007 on a Saturday, April 28, 2007, that the original decision made in October 2006 to stop my benefits was the correct one, and that my benefits were to be completely terminated as of the beginning of this month. You can imagine my panic about this, as I had no financial resources at all now, save for my SSI benefits; that policy money that I had received in October of 2006 was long gone, there was absolutely nothing left of it, and when I got this notice, I had exactly $5.71 to my name in my bank account...that was all.

So on that Monday, April 30th, I tried contacting my local Social Security office. All I succeeded in doing was leaving a message to the caseworker who had previously handled my case back in August of 2006, shortly after my mother had died. Feeling rather frustrated in not being able to speak to a "real" person, I then called the Social Security toll free 800 number. I just plain wanted to know why my benefits were being cut off so suddenly. When I got through to someone, and they looked up the particulars of my "case", it was explained to me, that forms had been sent out to me to determine my continuing eligibility for benefits. Oh? I never got them, and there obviously was no follow up on my case as to why I hadn't sent the forms in.

So by now, since I had the benefit of my own computer, I downloaded and printed up just about every imaginable form directly from the Social Security website, filled them them all out, and sent all kinds of proof of my financial resources. This included an indication that I had indeed spent that "extra" money of my mother's policy, plus sent them photo-copies of exactly how that money was spent--down to the last penny. The envelope I sent them was a virtual stack one-inch thick that I mailed off via certified mail on May 1, 2007, and by tracking it, saw that it was received the very next day. In the meantime, during the next few days I continued to send more forms to them and even called the toll free number again. This time the person I spoke to indicated that yes, they had received all the forms and had that information at their disposal and that what was probably needed was a waiver about the extra money...well, like why when I spoke to the first Social Security agent on April 30, 2007, wasn't this indicated to me and the form sent out to me then?

Then another "winning" notification arrived to me on May 17, 2007, as I received another letter dated May 10, 2007 from Social Security that I have an overpayment of $4,910.00 for the months of October 2006 to April 2007 and could you please pay this by June 9, 2007. All I could think about was, are they out of their minds? I had kept emphasizing to them that I absolutely had no financial resources at all. I hadn't been able to pay my rent, utilities or any other bills just to live on. In my phone calls, letters, etc, I had stated over and over again that I do not have any financial resources to me now except for what I was receiving from SSI Disability, which was nothing at that point since my benefits had been cut off completely.

I'm pointing all this out, as my story isn't a unique one. I have heard from fellow SSI recipients of their own horror stories of trying to get benefits, either first time round, when applying for the first time, or if like me, their benefits are suddenly terminated as they were in my case. Naturally it was suggested to me, that I should seek legal help of some kind and had one law firm, Binder and Binder, one of the top law firms that handle SSI Disability disputes, and of which I did contact. However, I was in for a further blow, as it was explained to me, that due to that over-payment issue of $4,910.00, they couldn't do anything, that I had to get that issue settled first, and on my own! So once again, my computer came in handy, and downloaded and printed up the over-payment waiver form from the SSA website, filled that form out as well and sent it to Social Security. In the meantime, the clock is ticking, and I haven't heard a thing whether or when my benefits were, if at all going to be re-instated. You can bet and imagine I was in high level panic here.

Then an inspiration literally hit me. I decided to contact via e-mail and by phone (usually only leaving messages), of every advocate group that could help me, including all those "help" lines from various news shows...still nothing happened. I then went further, as I'm a rather determined, stubborn person who doesn't give up easily. I contacted via e-mail my local Congressman. The very next day, I got an e-mail back and was told to expect a call from a representative of the Congressman's office who handled SSI Disability issues. Well call she did, and she told me to write out a letter to give them the authorization to intervene in my behalf and to not only fax this letter over, but the letters from Social Security. I had to go out to fax this material, as I didn't have a fax machine myself. By the time, I got back, I called the representative to find out if she had gotten the material; not only had she, but she had also in the meantime called Social Security to find out the particulars of my case.
Only a few days later then, I received a phone call from the caseworker from my local Social Security office. I supposed having received a phone call from a Congressman's office revved and shook things up a bit, as I'm guessing that Social Security doesn't receive phone calls from government officials too often.

Well things weren't settled right away and even more time passed, it was now approaching the end of May and still nothing was happening. I still hadn't paid my rent or utilities for the month of May, and now I was literally panicking about how to also pay my bills for June. So, I made another call to the Congressman's office and the representative in turn called up Social Security again in my behalf. Then came June 1st...The phone rings, and it was the caseworker from Social Security to inform me that not only were my benefits to be re-instated, but that the overpayment of $4,910.00 was completely waived. Ecstatic wouldn't be the word to describe how I felt--more like just plain screaming for joy--I had done it, I had managed to cut through the bureaucratic red-tape of Social Security and its rules and regulations and the slowness of how they handle cases...not that it's their fault as they are so back-logged with cases and paperwork.

So as to the reason for my writing this article? I'm hoping that it may serve as a help to anyone else out there reading this, that if they are having "problems" with getting SSI Disability benefits whether one is just starting the application for benefits, or if like me, have had their benefits cut off, how to go about getting a little jump-start in getting them sooner...get in contact with some kind of local Congressional help, believe me, it helped me, otherwise, I STILL might be waiting for my benefits.

The Secret Links

If you caught on the bandwagon with the popular book by Rhonda Byrnes "The Secret" and have seen the DVD then you just might wonder how you can get more of this inspirational motivator to get one involved with the whole Law Of The Attraction concept.
Well, I started digging about since at the end of the book The Secret is a bibliography of the participants, such as Joe Vitale, John Assaraf, Lisa Nichols, Mike Dooley, and so forth. You just might want to join up with some of these sites and get some more information on how to make the Law of Attraction work for you.
Now of course, almost each and everyone does have some "program" to join up, like receiving CD/DVDs that you do have to pay for...but many offer freebies programs to at least get you started.

So here are some great links that you might be interested in viewing for some more Law of Attraction information.

John Assaraf's Website

Michael Beckwith's Website

Jack Canfield's Website

Bob Doyle's Website

Bob Proctor's Website

James Ray's Website

Joe Vitale's Website


The most fun one I think belongs to Mike Dooley who has his "adventurers" Club, and you can even join with a forum with like minded people that participate and give their own views of the Law of Attraction. You can find his website here:

Mike Dooley's Website


Last but not least there is The Secret website itself:

The Secret Website

A Great Way To Earn Money and Make Friends

They sometimes say that there are no accidents in life, and I'm beginning to believe that's true. One time when I had signed into one of the Photography related Yahoo groups that I belong to, there was someone who made a post about a great money-making opportunity, and that was with a place called MyLot.
MyLot it a discussion forum group with people from all walks of life have joined up and can participate in discussions posted by fellow MyLotters. These discussions range from the rather serious to completely silly.
The whole great thing is that as you participate, whether initiating your own discussions or respond to a discussion, you earn money for each time you post. All right, it's not going to be a great grand fortune here.....don't expect to rival Donald Trump in his billions, but hey, a little extra cash is extra cash...right?

So if you want to join in on the fun....join here:

MyLot